It doesn’t always work, right?  We all make mistakes but sometimes you’re still at the mercy of the maturity on the other side of the table.  Granted, some open-mouth-insert-foot moments are worse than others.  Forgiveness can take time.

Here are 3.5 tips for how to act when you’re the one that got “dissed”…

1. LIFE IS PUBLIC - Think it over for a few days before you go “unfriending” on Facebook, un-following on twitter and deleting from your Meetup group.  Why?

A. It’s hard to undo and usually regrettable – after all, ignorance is not malice.  Most mistakes are harmless.  Take your time to forgive a sincere apology.

B. If the act was truly malicious, than follow the advice of Sun-Tzu: “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”

2. LIFE IS LONG – or so we hope. The person you’re turning your back on may have been the person that could have helped you the most.
I know that when I’ve made a mistake, I work doubly hard to make up for it.
Always ask yourself, “Is this the graceful, dignified response?”

2.5 THE BIG BACKFIRE – Retribution can be like a long-forgotten boomerang. One day, down the road, it can smack you in the head. Hopefully it’s not when you need a job.

You better look in the mirror and ask, “Is what I’m doing worse than the thing that pissed me off in the first place?” and, “Am I fanning the flame or putting it out?”

3.  PRINCIPLES DON’T CHOOSE SIDES – Acting out of character doesn’t get a hall-pass just because you feel you’re on the “right” side of an issue.

Finding a way through a problem promotes harmony.  Maintaining a divide produces discord.  Where do you think the wise place is to expend and invest your energy?

Musices opusculum... Bologna: 1487

“Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, a charm to sadness, gaiety and life to everything; It is the essence of order and lends to all that is good, just, and beautiful.”

Plato

Collection of sites in the Music 2.0 space

I also like this great advice on CNN Living: 10 worst phrases to use at the office.

“…It is very rare that a successful, well paid, professional speaker shares their business strategies and secrets. Combining techniques on how to craft your presentation, get bookings, and connect with your audience, along with the ins and outs of the ‘mysterious’ speaking business makes this a must attend event for anyone who wants to grow their business with speaking or become a professional speaker.  I know I’ll be there!”

Take a look at what Jim is offering and register early.

“Enthusiastic (and hilarious) advocate of social media. Get’s it.”
by Ward Supplee, Silicon Valley

Thank you Ward!  Providing recommendations and testimonials for your associates, customer and vendors is best done online.  This recommendation appeared on Mr. Tweet.  Recommending individuals on Linkedin and businesses on Yelp is great for helping build their credibility online.  You’ll feel good about doing it. They’ll feel even better when they get it.

A Manifesto for Creative Professionals.

Somewhere in your personal history a decision was made to forgo a “real job”; one your parents would understand.  Artist, creative director, writer, musician, photographer, actor, fine artist or pick one – you got attention for a talent or liked doing it so much that there was just no room to commit significant time to a profession less flattering gratifying. You became one of them sensitive types whose ego is vulnerably bonded to their work.  True objective distance is pointless but it’s best to have a survival strategy.

Let’s start here:

1.    Snub expectations.  Excitement needs space; throw a few elbows if required.  Picasso’s friend and art critic, Guillaume Apollinaire, encouraged his cohorts to “innovate violently!”   Much more risky for creative professionals, is to abide by rules.

2.    The boss is the problem; the puzzle to solve, the idea to create, the crowd to excite, or your soul to satisfy.  Don’t piss off the boss.

3.    There’s NO plan “B”. Quit moonlighting.  Put in the hours; work without a net.  If you have a plan “B” it’s too easy to bail, and you’ll want to.  Part timers can’t keep up with the guy who’s bustin’ it like a sex crazed school boy.

4.    It’s a passion play for pay. You’re a whore, or not, it all depends on how much money is in the bank.  It’s a crucial balance that keeps sanity from escaping.  Your clarity of purpose resolves the left and right hemispheres.  Ultimately the decision for what kind of creative you are going to be is up to you, but don’t let the vision go blurry.

5.    Industry best practices are not creative. Best practices are maintenance and benchmarking is linear: this leads to that, variation is less professional.  The state of the art didn’t arrive by formula or recipe.

6.    Your creativity is about your heart, not their surface. Creativity is your world view filtered through your talent. It’s your passion, experience, expertise, inspiration and your rules that drive you to create wonderful things that you’re destined to hate because they’re not good enough, and others are open to admire because they couldn’t do it.

7.    The committee is usually wrong; however the crowd is commonly right but incredibly dull. If you’re part of the crowd you will be sourced and forgotten.

8.    Ideas are like lightning strikes hitting you unaware after you’ve been rubbing a cat balloon on a wool carpet for months.

9.     Everyone is creative but only a select few can deal with the risk of ego crushing rejection that inevitably comes from the direction you least expect.  If your work is worth more to you than the safety of groups or a secure fortune then you’re “a creative”.

10.    That road block was dropped there for a reason; it’s so you learn how to maneuver or to accept the pain of hitting it.  Either way, if you don’t survive the test, it wasn’t worth the trip.

11.    Find a way to turn your weaknesses into strengths, but don’t tell anyone you’re doing it.

12.    Putting creativity into words dilutes the idea unless you’re a writer.  It’s only creative if you actually create it.  “I could’ve done that” doesn’t count.

13.    If you have a style, be sure it’s following you and not vice versa.  If you’re chasing your style, you’ve taken a wrong turn. (see  #5 “best practices”)  Follow your muse, let others call it your style.  Don’t borrow from yourself too often.

14.    Don’t let anyone talk you out of your passion. If you have passion for an idea, don’t lose it by asking others if they think it’s good.  They probably won’t.

15.    Lose the habit of being successful.  Success can doom your career to mediocrity. Embrace the fact that you’re never going to make it and find comfort in other things.  Once success becomes your work, it’s over and if you’re a creative professional, success looks an awful lot like cash and cheering crowds.

by Bruce DeBoer at permissiontosuck.com.