Letting Go

Let it go

I posted a status update on Facebook yesterday. I suppose it was part of a New Year’s renewal to state that I was,”Letting Go.” You might guess that this evoked some response. I’m grateful to loving friends and family that thought to reach me. I was encouraged by the messages I received.  Some wondered what it was I was letting go of…others were concerned. I considered the context, and, there really wasn’t one. A few friends said, “It’s about time,” or “Of what?” I had a quick education on the obscure post in need of clarification.

Facebook dialogue about letting go

I am letting go of stress, worry and the past. I am also letting go of the need to react or be affected by others, especially if they are not focused on the present or the future. Did you ever get a dirty look from across the room? Did you feel compelled to say “What’s wrong?” or “What did I do?” Well, my choice is to no longer address an issue until there is one. When confronted with an issue or an objective then address it. When brushed by passive-aggressive (or even aggressive) dissatisfaction or anger, don’t call attention to it! Let it go! Maybe it’s about you, maybe it’s not. Don’t invite the confrontation – it’s not likely to be a healthy one.

Especially in today’s fast paced, mobile, social, inter-webbed world it’s even more difficult to not let public opinion and judgement take the place of our true selves. I am letting go of frustration with myself and my life, letting go of anger and bitterness in an effort to focus on what matters most. My commitment is to choose joy and have a wonderful productive year. I hope you do the same and I’d be grateful for your thoughts!also best to assume that someone’s post or comment isn’t about you and isn’t personal.  If it is, let them choose to say so. Otherwise, don’t sweat it.

Thank you to Lori Deschene, Author of Tiny Buddha, Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions and founder of the Tiny Buddha website.  Her “40 WAYS TO LET GO AND FEEL LESS PAIN,” post in particular encouraged me to make this my mantra for the new year.


  • This was one of the big lessons I took away from 2011: learning to let go. For me, it was mostly about letting go of my attachments, especially my attachment to having things turn out exactly how I’d planned them. Learning to let go of my attachments, prejudices, biases and preconceived ideas was the best thing that’s happened to me in the past several years. Great post, Jeff!

  • ElizabethDonham

    Jeff, if i understand your blog as you intended it, your “letting go” is very much like my “staying in the center”. I CHOOSE to give others the benefit of the doubt when I am not sure of their intentions/reactions/statements/choices and not to over-react to them (ie sometimes completely ignore them). No one is best served when off handed remarks or looks are taken out of context. Like you mentioned it often may have nothing to do with me but more to do with their day or life or frame of mind. I will treat them like grown ups – if you have something to say, say it directly and clearly and constructively and let’s have this conversation. Having said that – for those I care most about I will take the time to directly confront a funny look across the room or an apparent misunderstanding for several reasons. The first being is I care about that person. About their own comfort and desires and perspectives. But also because I wish to continue growing as a person and a professional and perhaps their reaction is a peek into my own blind spots. It isn’t always comfortable to hear what some else has to say that doesn’t frame me or my actions in the best light but in the spirit of growth it’s sometimes what it takes. For me, the real key isn’t so much letting go but knowing who and when and where and how much to take stock of others and their opinions. While I can’t 100% insulate myself from the world, as I get older ( and hopefully wiser!) my inner circle, those who I really trust and respect and respond quickly to, both to the positive and negative, has gotten sleeker and smaller. I try my best to stay in the center of my own intentions and how much emotional effort I give to those around me….kind of like your “letting go”? I wish you much luck and joy and success in 2012!

  • @ElizabethDonham thanks for the insightful thoughts. I always appreciate your candor and you have certainly helped me peek into my own “blind spots” on more than one occasion. And thank you @JerryKennedy – does anything turn out exactly as we plan?

  • […] out what my good friend Jeff Marmins had to say about the subject in his recent blog post “Letting Go“.  While you’re at it, leave a comment here to let me know about your big lessons from […]

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