Wisdom, Not Hammers

“A home,” wrote Solomon the Wise, “is built with wisdom.”

And not with a hammer.

Because wisdom is the glue of beauty. Wisdom, meaning the ability to step back and see all of the picture, the past and, most important, the future to which all this leads. To see the truth inside each thing.

Without wisdom, there are only fragments. With wisdom, there is a whole. And there is peace between all the parts of that whole.

Wisdom_marmins_jeff_marminsgroup
I subscribe to an email called the “daily dose” from www.chabad.org that has some great stuff like this everyday.  I’m sure other religious sties have something similar.  Any positive reminder or thoughtful note can keep us on the character path.  For those seeking wisdom, the site offers a wonderful section, TheRebbe.org, a joint project of Chabad.org and Jewish Educational Media.

Continue Reading

Thanksgiving email

I was impressed by this note from Alex Rathbone. She is the Executive Assistant to VP/GM, Storage Solutions Group at Adaptec and is also a Communications Consultant through her own firm, Coldun Consulting.  Her experience is diverse and interesting.  She’s obviously a high character person as you can tell:

As Thanksgiving nears, I’ve been thinking about some
of the things I have to be thankful for. 

I have a loving family, some near, some far away.

I have choices in my life.

I have a warm place to rest my head every night.

I’ve never been forced to miss a meal. 

 

I am more mindful of these simple blessings at this
time of year.

This Thanksgiving, why not take a moment apart from
this busy connected world, to keep it simple and let the people around you know
that you value them?

May you and your family be as blessed as I am.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Continue Reading

The Season for Gratitude

Pf_1094060bikeronroadamidstfallfoliagepo
The following was posted by Robert Greenlaw on the Character First! Newsletter:

November provides a great occasion to count your blessings and give thanks.

Teach your children the definition of gratefulness: “letting others
know by my words and actions how they have benefited my life.”

Make a list of those who have benefited your family, and discuss
ways you can show your appreciation. Remember that gratefulness is more
than a feeling. It involves expressing appreciation for others’
contributions. Consider these ideas:

  • Cp559800Write “Thank You” notes to schoolteachers.
  • Make food or desserts for someone who has helped your family.
  • Send notes of appreciation to city leaders, police officers, or other public servants.

Recall the good things that happened this year, even the unexpected benefits of disappointments.542579fallfoliagechangingleavesposters

Grateful relationships should be the rule all year.  It is the season, however, to give your old coat, your unused toys, some canned goods or whatever you can spare.  If you don’t know where or how to do this then connect with your local Rotary Club.

Continue Reading

Make what you do beautiful

“Some people create with words, or with music, or with a brush and paints. I like to make something beautiful when I run. I like to make people stop and say, “I’ve never seen anyone run like that before.”It’s more then just a race, it’s a style. It’s doing
something better then anyone else. It’s being creative.” -Steve Prefontaine

Pre3

Continue Reading

Encourage Success – give praise for character

Dave DeRoos of CityGate Associates is a  mentor of mine that has graciously offered advice on character development in addition to  providing me with a sounding board for questions about raising a responsible daughter.  He introduced me to an organization called Character Training Institute,  Character First!® that provides Character training.  Dave is great at giving praise and rewards employees and associates for quality character behavior using the Three Steps of Praise as Character First suggests:

  1. Give the definition of the character quality (there are 49 qualities according to Character First!).
  2. Offer a specific illustration of how it was demonstrated.
  3. Explain the benefit to you and/or others.

Here’s an example using the character quality of dependability:

Dependability is sacrifice and consistent performance.  These past weeks you’ve met every milestone.  Thanks to your dependability our client feels that we’re reliable and will give us more work and I trust you to deliver as promised.

It takes practice and I always work on integrating this high level, high character praise into my interactions with others. 

Continue Reading

Lessons From Geese

I have the privelage of serving on the Mercy Hospital Community Coucil under the leadership of Rosemary Younts.  Rosemary is heading up a $5 Million fundraising campaign for a new, state of the art Emergency Department at Mercy Hospital of Folsom.  I’ve been fortunate to come to know Rosemary and have benefited from her depth of experience, generosity and character.  I’m confident that we’ll complete the fundraising effort that is currently seeking a closing gift of $300,000.

It is the custom to have a moment of inspiration at each of our council meetings.  Rosemary shared “Lessons From Geese” in our most recent meeting and I’ll think you’ll agree that we can learn a great deal about being more effective humans from Geese:

Marminsgrouo_geeselg
Lessons From Geese

Fact #1: As each goose flaps its wings it creates and “uplift” for the birds that
follow. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying
range than if each bird flew alone.

Lesson: People who share a common direction and a sense of community can get
where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the
thrust of one another.

Fact #2: When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and
resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take
advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in from of it.

Lesson: If we have as much sense as a goose, we stay in formation with those
headed where we want to go. We are
willing to accept their help and give our help to others.

Fact #3: When the lead goose tires, it rotate back into the formation and another
goose flies to the point position.

Lesson: It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent on
each other’s skills, capabilities and unique arrangements of gifts, talents and
resources.

Fact #4: The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep
up their speed.

Lesson: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where3_26_5_geese_43_1
there is encouragement the
production is much greater. The power of
encouragement (to stand by one’s heart or core values and encourage the heart
and core of others) is the quality of honking we seek.

Fact #5: When a goose gets sick, wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of
formation and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to
fly again. Then, they launch out with another
formation or catch up with the flock.

Lesson: If we have as much sense as geese, we will stand by each other in
difficult times as well as when we are strong.

“Lessons from Geese” was transcribed from a speech given
by Angeles Arrien at the 1991 Organizational Development Network and was based
on the work of Milton Olson. It circulated to Outward Bound staff throughout
the
United States.

.

Continue Reading

Sales Mis-lead?

Ever create that great proposal, deliver the value, and walk away from the meeting excited and enthusiastic about your prospect’s response?  Yea?  Ever have the guy not even return your phone call for the next two months?
Perhaps we all have had a similar experience.  My prospect and I even serve together as Board members of a local organization.  We know each other and see each other every week.  Believe it or not, he ducks me like an eleven year-old on the playground.  I finally let him off the hook on voice mail and said, “Listen, I’m a big boy and understand if the answer is NO and/or I’m willing to negotiate.  Either way, no pressure, it’s OK to call and let me know.”  I had a few opportunities to confront him in person and he offered several excuses for not calling.   Effectivehuman_phone_call

The lesson: It’s a low character move to not deliver an answer no matter what the answer is.  Why not make an effort to maintain good will, offer encouragement or explain why the timing is poor?  As it turns out, my lesson was, “This isn’t someone I should do business with or certainly shouldn’t refer other people to do business with either.”  Another lesson was, when I do see him, to be a gentleman and not make him uncomfortable by feeing like we have to have “THE TALK.”

Perhaps the call to say NO ends up with a better proposition and a win forJust_say_no_effectivehuman_1
both parties.  Or, perhaps the call is just, NO, but offers the opportunity to re-connect on another opportunity in the future.  Either way, it’s a more honest and harmonious outcome and you won’t have to sneak out of the room early when the other guy shows up.

Continue Reading

Self Affirmation from Fortune Cookies

Effective_human_fortuneI had a recent conversation where a friend noticed I had some saved fortunes
from fortune cookies in my binder.  I had never considered the idea  as all that original or even as a means to being effective…but I enjoy them and they are affirming, so here you go…

"Stop looking and you will find what you seek."
"A free soul never grows old."
"Behind an able man, there are always other able men."
"You are always welcome in any gathering."

Continue Reading

Prevent Burnout to be Effective

An important component of being effective is connecting to yourself.  Know that your mind is fried and that you need to walk away from the computer for awhile and get some perspective.  I’m not sure who said it, but I love the expression, "When your mind is tired, work your body.  When your body is tired, work your mind."  You do, however, need to listen to the signals your body sends you. Unplugging doesn’t mean getting more coffee.

Proposal Expert and awesome blogger Laura Ricci says, "Burnout is a biologic reality, not a psychological weakness." Read her post about burnout for the prevention and cure.

Continue Reading

Laughter Works

Laughter, fun and enjoyment.  Aren’t these things that we all seek?  I’ve often underestimated their value as I plod along throughRen_laughter_1 work  – like spending another Sunday at my glamorous desk enjoying the life of the entrepreneur.  I’ve learned a great deal , though, from my good friend Jim Pelley who practices what he preaches.  His business Lwlogo_smis Laughterworks Seminars and he’s been teaching the value of humor to Fortune 500 companies  for many years.

Jim speaks about  how humor can help manage change with workplace/life issues, make teams more effective, banish stress and unleash creativity.  It’s awesome to have a friend that deeply understands the relationship between humor, communication, and productivity.

Recently Jim and I both attended a breakfast themed “Radical Gratitude” where celebrating a life of abundance was encouraged.  What better representation of appreciation, self-affirmation and a life of abundance than the gift of laughter?  What better representation of true character than a life-long commitment to encouraging enjoyment?  AND, teaching how it can make many aspects of your life and work more effective! Hannah_marmins_laughing

Some of the most beautiful sounds I know are the laughter of my wife and daughter.  So  make sure someone hears your laugh today.  It may be the beautiful sound they’re looking for…

Continue Reading